From the Therapists Couch: Explosive Anger!

Anger as we all know is a very natural response to feelings of being attacked or deceived, frustrated or treated unfairly, from a personal perspective. Everyone gets angry at sometime, it is just part of being human. While it is often seen as a 'bad' emotion, isn't always, in fact it can be useful, it is designed to help us defend ourselves from dangerous situations by providing a rush or burst of high volatility and energy.

If only all that emotional energy could just be focused, but how to do it?

The first really big step is to recognise that, despite all the evidence to the contrary, in between the stimulus and the response, there is indeed a tiny gap where control or choice is possible.

This ‘gap’ small though it is, offers both the therapist and the patient the opportunity to develop a change in behaviour, working collaboratively, and with understanding, new patterns of behaviour can be learned.

Recognising anger, and acknowledging it, and owning it, and then taking responsible for it and its power, help us all to see it for what it is, often something that has started as a defence that has become dysfunctional and is now in danger of causing disastrous consequences.

Having trained to work with all sorts of presenting conditions, it is a common occurrence to face patients with anger management issues. Some are outwardly aggressive and verbally abusive. Others take it out on themselves inwardly focusing their anger becoming isolated and denying themselves the things most people would consider ‘normal’ basic needs. While others are passively aggressive, and act out  their non conformity, in a sulky or sarcastic way, while not doing anything explicitly angry or aggressive.

Something that I find really useful is a simple demonstration of the violent anger which can be easily understood, as a metaphor or analogy, and used both in trance or out.

“So, how would it be, if … I take this bottle of Coke, and”… (giving  it a good shake) pass it to my patient … who is looking a little bemused … “ask you to open it…. Open it now! … What will happen?”

Think about it, what would happen?

Anger, when it explodes is a lot like the bottle of Coke … it can be totally uncontrollable it can affect everyone in close proximity, and of course it will impact on who ever is holding it.

This wonderful analogy is a strong and demonstrable piece of impact therapy, which when used within the therapy room can help really make a point.

Timing is crucial, but as any good hypnotherapist knows it is easy to use the idea both physically in wakeful state, with an actual bottle of Coke (other fizzy drinks are available) but much better in the trance state to create deeper and more powerful suggestions for change, where the analogy can continue.

What happens when the bottle is left for a while to “rest” ?

What happens when the bottle is given the chance to “breathe?”

Eventually, the bottle can open up, and the contents enjoyed, and with the fun and effervescence, all under control.

So, perhaps the question is how to avoid the unsettling, and the shaking up?

 

That is the easy bit, because once we know what needs to change and have made a commitment to do it, we are already halfway there.

Training with the London College of Clinical Hypnosis which teaches self hypnosis as the first step, followed with symptom recognition, and when stress management is added the important tools just need to be mastered and regularly practiced, with more training all the symptoms can be dealt with and new behaviours learned.

There is a great hand-out from Mind “How to deal with anger” with lots of support and helpful advise which can be downloaded online: www.mind.org.uk

For more information on how you or your company can effectively manage anger, call us on 0800 999 8353, info@lcch.co.uk

Or to talk to someone in your area:

Scotland: +44 141 333 0878

Southwest England: +44 7761 773563

Midlands and Southeast England: +44 203 603 8535

Northern England: +44 7812 196 798

Southeast Asia: + 603 7960 6439

Portugal: +351 933 713 223

Michelle Hague FBSCH
Centre Manager Sourthwest England

www.lcch.co.uk